If you feel like love and romance aren’t like what you see in the movies? Then you probably spent a good part of your twenties, thirties, and beyond as a single Christian thinking, that romance in your life would be like something out of a romantic comedy, or a romance novel.
Okay, let me stop you right there!
No one said; “love isn’t like the movies or a fairy tale.” Well…maybe at some point it was mentioned.
Don’t lose hope, though! Just because it is not like your favourite film does not mean that true love and romance don’t exist at all.
Often, love between two people can be difficult when we are focused on ourselves. Unfortunately, this makes it hard to love someone well or be loved. If the love you give is primarily self-serving, it will be almost impossible to experience God’s love for you.
Dating now is very different from how our grandparents or even our parents did it. In the past, people were part of a super-close-knit community and went through life together. They shared the good times and the bad times.
Tangled In Socials
Today, however, life is frantic! We spend more time stressed, depressed and hustling two to three jobs plus, a side-income we hope will help us to live our best life today. Social media also plays a major part in our daily lives and can also illuminate our greatest fears. According to [Statista.com] 33% of the global population said; spending more than three hours per day on social media, resulted in negative impact in their mental health.
When observing these patterns, it’s clear why singles find it challenging to connect with individuals in IRL (in real life), but also why there is so much fear and negativity consuming our minds. As God’s children, we struggle to thrive under these conditions.
This is something that Christ warned us about in the scripture John 16:33, which says; “I have told you these things, so that in me, you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Friends! This is exciting, Jesus knew the future that lay ahead of us, and so He gave us a glimpse of what was to come.
And He shone a light on our problems in four ways:
One: Jesus communicated who we are (our ID).
Two: He provided us with His peace.
Three: Reminded us of troubles we will face in our world.
Four: He offered solace with Him and overcame the world by shedding His blood.
Is your Love Tank On Empty?
For as long as I can remember, I have been reading and re-reading Gary Chapman’s book called “The 5 Love Languages.” Before you side-eye-roll, let me start by telling you there is so much wisdom in this book.
In an aspect of his writing, Mr Chapman shares a visual that he came up with after years of counselling couples and individuals at various stages of life. The notion is “love tank”, he goes on to explain the fundamental crux for believers who are struggling in their search for love, starts from the most significant place, within themselves.
Whatever you experienced in your childhood? Has a direct impact on your adult self. For example, if you grew up watching your parents meet each of the others needs in love? Based on their love languages? In turn, this is imprinted on a child.
Once they reach adulthood, their values, expectations, and their love languages can be shaped based on the pre-defined example of how they have watched love demonstrated before them and how love was or wasn’t poured out over them.
This can also work in a reverse order. If a person’s needs haven’t been met? It increases the intensity of how empty their love tank is. If Acts of service is how you communicate? Then, unless a loved one meets you in that place? Communication can become estranged, stressed, bitter or even avoidant.
This is because you are both speaking in two different languages to one another. Like someone speaking Pig Latin and the other Klingon. It is virtually impossible to understand one another because you weren’t on the same page to begin with.
Where Is Your Help?
Our goal, as the verse in 1 John 3:19 says, is to, “set our hearts at rest in His presence” [NIV].
As God’s children, this should be a natural state of mind for us, any time that you approach your Father in heaven. But if this isn’t the case? There is good news in His word. “God is greater than your heart” [1 John 20]. He knows everything about you and still loves you anyway!
So, you don’t have to be scared of the state of your mind! But, if on the other hand, you approach Him (God), boldly and confidently because He invited you to come, and you are coming not on your own merits but in Jesus’ merit and His righteousness? Then your receiver is big and fully functional.
Friends! If no one has ever told you? You have power over your own mind. Whatever you are feeling? Has as much power over you, as you allow.
Jesus is seated in the throne of your heart.
If you found reading this helpful, be sure to leave a like ⭐ and comment. Follow us on Instagram, join our Facebook Group community, and consider tuning into our Weekly Podcast. Or attend our Singles Retreats in Scotland. You don’t have to walk through your season of singleness alone, let’s flow in God’s love together.
