Ghosted again! I’m sure you’ve been here too? Everything seem’d like it was going well, you’ve shared a great moment of rich conversation. Only to be unexpectedly left on “read” for multiple days followed by the famous Houdini act no not getting sawn in half, the vanishing act.
I have been here too! And it’s incredible frustrating. But does it need to be? In this article, we’ll look at why Ghosting happens and how to prepare yourself against emotional spiralling in the future.
It’s Not You, It’s Them
If you aren’t the one doing the ghosting? Then you’ve come to the right place. There can be many different reasons for one moment having great conversation and in the same breath being seemingly ignored or even blocked or unmatched with.
The truth is, however, that any of us could have a finger pointed at us. At one time or another, we have all been emotionally immature—for example, intentionally pretending we didn’t receive a text message when we really did, or showing disinterest in pursuing a friendship or relationship with an individual we don’t connect with, hoping to quietly drift into the floral wallpaper as if nothing had begun.
I am also guilty of it, and it is a terrible thing to do to anyone. In Mark 12:31 it says; “The second is this: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Here Jesus is talking to a crowd after someone asks him a question. In love, He shares the two most important commandments in scripture, which are to: Love the Lord and love your neighbour as yourself.
You Are Worth It
Being ghosted doesn’t define your value or worth. You have been chosen, loved and seen by God. While rejection may close a door, it doesn’t close the door on God’s plans for your life. Understand that someone choosing to disappear isn’t a reflection on your desirability—it’s just a sign they weren’t meant to walk with you.
Isaiah 49:16 says; “See, I have engraved you on the psalms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.” throughout this conversation between Isaiah and God. Isaiah see’s himself as not good enough. How many of us can relate to feeling this way? I have! I will be the first to put my hand up and say, that even on my best day, I battle with thoughts of self-worth. But God is good, and He reminds me each day, He chose me first.
In 1 Peter 2:9 it says; “You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession.” —This means not only did God choose us, He gave you an elevated status. A royal one.
Rejection → Redirection
What can feel like rejection is often God’s protection and redirection. If someone vanishes? It simply means they weren’t meant for you and the calling God has on your life. Instead of just vegetating and potentially rolling ourselves into a blanket burrito. Reframe it, trust God is guiding you towards someone who will see, value and pursue you wholeheartedly, not halfheartedly.
Psalm 118:22 says; The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.” biblical scripture teaches us the importance of understanding rejections and where it comes from. This is reflective in Jesus life in Earth. He was ridiculed and rejected constantly. But it didn’t matter because God’s love was enough to satisfy him.
I am not saying we shouldn’t deal with our emotions. It is important and healthy to prayer (talk to God), get wise counsel from a mentor, friend or trusted-biblical-spiritual-leader and get fresh air too! It really does put things into perspective.
What Should I Do?
There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to dating, as a Christian I say this a lot. And it’s true! The biggest question we should be asking as believers is; “God, what is your plan for me?” — Do you trust the Lord? I can’t tell you why at the ripe old age of [fill in the blank] you are still without a partner.
Remember that our living day to day with God isn’t just about you or me. But about His ultimate plan, like it says in Jeremiah 29:11. — We are created to bring God glory. He made you and created you and knows who and what you need first.
If you’re ghosted or tempted to ghost, pause — pray, reflect, and discern. Choose what glorifies God, not what feeds pride. Jesus calls this to mind in the second-greatest commandment: “Love your neighbour as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). Treat fellow believers with the care you want for yourself.
If you felt no connection? Then explain WITH CARE why you aren’t in a loving way. It can be simple and doesn’t need to be mean or insensitive. Here are two good example I would recommend you use:
- Simple & Kind (Direct but gentle)
Hey [Name], I really appreciate the time we’ve spent getting to know each other. After praying and reflecting, I don’t sense that a romantic relationship is where God is leading us. I wish you the very best as you continue your journey. - Friendly & Respectful (If you still want to keep a connection)
Hey [Name], I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you and I respect the person you are. After praying and thinking about it, I don’t see us being a match romantically, but I’d be happy to stay friends if that feels right to you.
Ghosting is…not a good thing. We have a few resources to help you tackle this! So be sure to check out what we have available for you to read or listen to in the links below. For now! Stay blessed!
If you found reading this helpful, be sure to leave a like ⭐ and comment. Follow us on Instagram, join our Facebook Group community, and consider tuning into our Weekly Podcast. Or attend our Singles Retreats in Scotland. You don’t have to walk through your season of singleness alone, let’s flow in God’s love together.
