What is dating?
- The Bible doesn’t say, or specify, the term “date” or “dating”. When revisiting history, there are an abundance of made of example of what dating is or isn’t. Christian dating involves pursuing romantic relationships grounded in Christian principles, prioritizing faith, mutual respect, and often abstinence until marriage, with a focus on spiritual compatibility and shared beliefs. Whenever you date, you may encounter people who’s “right way to date” is completely different from your own, because ultimately everyone is guessing.
- The art of dating is about intentionally taking time to get to know another person. No more and no less. There is however a guide of stages, that can help us to focus and relax in getting to know someone.
Before I start unpacking, I want to let you know! This is a safe space and you are welcome here! If you are reading this? My hope is this article will enable you to draw you closer to God and leave you feeling encouraged and inspired.
How do I prepare to date well?
Now, let’s get down to business! As single people who are Christian, the what? And why? Behind our actions matters a great deal. We are called to be like Christ first [Ephesians 5:1], not to copy others, but to set the pace by how Jesus showed us.
Using moral muscles ends up cultivating obsession with self, measuring our moral muscles but never getting around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God’s action in them find that God’s Spirit is in them – A living and breathing God!
When broken down, the purpose of dating is to find the right man or woman for marriage. Which is a gift from God. Although the words “date” or “dating” cannot be found in scripture. The process of learning more about an individual in pursuit of marriage, is something that we can see emulated throughout God’s living Word.
How to love others like Jesus?
We don’t need to look too far to find the answer to our problem. Mark 12:31 puts it like this; “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.”
If you are in a situation where there is a man or woman you are interested in? Don’t get caught up in their looks. You don’t truly know who they are, but getting to discover a fresh and truthful perspective of who someone really is? Allows us to walk more boldly in God’s love for us.
Don’t be afraid to get a coffee, take a walk, do a simple activity and just really take the time to learn more about another child of God like you! When we get over preconceived ideas of whom a person is and experience who God has made them to be? Attraction factors are increase or decrease.
Getting facts is better than guessing your way through.
The Differences Between Wants & Needs?
Desire as human beings is linked to our emotions. Scientifically, we are mammals.
This is an intentional design by God. This is why learning to manage emotions is critically important. My Mum Jannet Hopewell often shares with me about her relationship with the Holy Spirit and about how we need to follow His leading and not our emotions.
She found out, that a lot of people don’t understand how our emotions work in the first place.
Our emotions are in the realm of the soul. Our soul is made up of our Mind, Will, and Emotions’. It tells us what we think, what we want and how we feel. Out of these three areas, it is our feelings that get stirred up the fastest. In other words, the wisdom and discernment of the Holy Spirit can become easily drowned out.
As believers, who are single, understanding this can make all the difference in how we pursue relationship, without God’s help it is impossible to know who is good for us and when. We avoid living a life of flesh because it doesn’t please God.
But spending more time with God, looking inward and taking steps to learn, grow and improve our spirit, soul, mind, and body will help to overcome your emotions!
The Dating Stage, What is it?
The dating stage is about going on multiple dates to build friendship with another Christian woman or man who you are interested in. The goal here is to take one date at a time, to embark on a journey of discovery to find out who this person is. The focus in this stage is to see (through navigating seasons of life together) if you want to be in closer relationship with them and continue going on dates to build a stronger friendship foundation.
Approaching dating with a “Will I or won’t I marry them?” mindset can create unnecessary pressure. Trust in God’s grace to guide you, and allow yourselves to relax. Embrace the process and enjoy getting to know each other on a friendship-based level, without the immediate pressure of long-term commitments.
That’s why I encourage relaxed dating, trusting in God’s grace and enjoying getting to know each other without pressure.
Is Dating Multiple People For Me?
DON’T panic, let me explain!
Friends! I want to encourage you to seek God first. He knows the best plans for you in every phase of life. As singles, our focus in dating should always be about flowing in love. Yes! Look for the demonstration of a fruitful person, but also who demonstrates the love of Christ to others in a practical and tangible way.
You’ve heard me say this before, there are no one-size-fits-all solutions to dating. Finding your person to eventually marry is about God and his master plan for the world. Though, there is some extra room for fun and adventure along the way.
Get good and getting uncomfortable, humble, thankful in your dating process. You don’t have to be ruled by emotions, but it is important to find healthy ways to process them. Either through heathy activity or regular therapy.
No matter what, date with accountability. Parts of this process require an outside perspective, so that you don’t miss out on sound wisdom and advice to help you in your single journey.
PLEASE NOTE: That all advice given is not guaranteed structure, but a suggested guide to help you make sense of your season of singleness, while actively searching for a life partner.
If you found reading this helpful, be sure to leave a like ⭐ and comment. Follow us on Instagram, join our Facebook Group community, and consider tuning into our Weekly Podcast. Or attend our Singles Retreats in Scotland. You don’t have to walk through your season of singleness alone, let’s flow in God’s love together.
