How to Get Ready to Date Again
Feeling ready to date again, but unsure if your heart and mind are prepared? Whether this is your first date or, let’s be real! Your (fill in the blank) number. This article is designed with you in mind. I understand the struggles of modern dating. Many Christians struggle with emotional readiness and knowing when to take that next step.
Are You Ready To Date?
Quick History Check: Dating, as we know it today, isn’t mentioned in the Bible. It emerged in the late 1800s in the U.S., evolving from traditional courtship. The term “dating” first appeared in 1896 in a Chicago newspaper column, reflecting a shift toward personality and social interaction as factors in choosing a partner — a change influenced by women gaining more independence.
Why it matters: Understanding this history reminds us that dating is cultural, not biblical, and gives context for approaching relationships intentionally and thoughtfully.
For us, dating as followers of Christ is different. We date with love and intention (not it doesn’t have to be intense, we’ll talk about that later). But our love for one another should be grounded in patience, kindness, not envious, not boastful, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily-angered, keeps no record of wrongs, does not delight in evil, rejoices in truth.
We win! When we flow in love through the Holy Spirit of God. Because it is by His strength, that we are truly able to love each other. Your emotional maturity matters, and growth in understanding your own emotions and how to properly manage them/others and communicate is part of making a relationship beautiful and strong.
Why Readiness Matters
When was the last time you checked your ID? Seems strange right? The truth is, we don’t. No driver pulls out their driving licence, puts on glasses, stares at their photos and tells themselves; “my Name is “John Doe” or “Carmen Calypso,” aged 23, registration number: 0911209. It would be weird!
Who you are matters! Take time getting to know the “who” of how you were made. Love cannot be given unless you receive it first. God loved you first. In Matthew 22:37-38 Jesus us about the greatest commandment, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.” this is a HUGE deal!
Step one: Love God
Step two: Love yourself
Step three: Love your neighbour
Key Steps to Get Date-Ready
Here are some practical steps you can use to help you self-check and make sure you are spiritually, mentally and physically ready to dive head-first into dating.
- Check Your Heart and Motives
- are you seeking a partner out of loneliness, or because you’re ready for a committed, values-aligned relationship?
- are you seeking a partner out of loneliness, or because you’re ready for a committed, values-aligned relationship?
- Work on Emotional Readiness
- Reflect on past relationships, heal wounds, understand triggers. (Don’t do this alone! Get help from a trusted councillor, friend, mentor or church leadership)
- Reflect on past relationships, heal wounds, understand triggers. (Don’t do this alone! Get help from a trusted councillor, friend, mentor or church leadership)
- Clarify Your Values and Vision
- Know what matters: faith alignment, lifestyle, family, ministry, deal-breakers.
- Know what matters: faith alignment, lifestyle, family, ministry, deal-breakers.
- Build a Supportive Community
- Surround yourself with friends, mentors, or a church community that supports your growth. Size doesn’t matter! What’s important is that you find people to do life with, even if they aren’t physically right in front of you.
- Surround yourself with friends, mentors, or a church community that supports your growth. Size doesn’t matter! What’s important is that you find people to do life with, even if they aren’t physically right in front of you.
- Pray and Seek God’s Guidance
- Keep your spiritual life central — dating is not just a checklist but a lifetime of worship and discernment journey.
Don’t Give Up on Hope (Really!)
Dating truly can be an adventure and not stressful at all, and you are not alone within it. Take time to start journaling your values, talking to mentors and praying for guidance. (No matter how old you are). When your heart, mind and faith align, you’ll know you’re ready to date with purpose.
If you found reading this helpful, be sure to leave a like ⭐ and comment. Follow us on Instagram, join our Facebook Group community, and consider tuning into our Weekly Podcast. Or attend our Singles Retreats in Scotland. You don’t have to walk through your season of singleness alone, let’s flow in God’s love together.
